Blog #9

I think the workshop went really well. We combined groups, so we worked with people we were not used to working with. It was still comfortable and I believe the feedback that was given was extremely beneficial. I typically like working with the same people, but the change was nice. It was nice to have others read your work who haven't before. They can provide different feedback and different ideas about your writing. I think the accidental switch up was effective and I enjoyed working with different people. Maybe it is time to workshop with different partners.

3rd Workshop Blog

During Thursday's workshopping session, we spent a lot of time on mine and Cheryl's essays.  Many people, including me, agreed that she had made wonderful use of the 2nd person to bring readers right into her descriptions.  She also chose a wide variety of alone-time activities to write about, which allowed many people to relate with her essay.  My essay was met with a positive response as well, which greatly encouraged me.  I was afraid that the experimental form and video-game-specific terms would make it difficult for people to read, but everyone seemed to understand and enjoy it.  We also spent a little bit of time discussing ideas for our third essays.  I liked that we all met in one large group this time.  It made things a lot more fun, and allowed me to get to know better some classmates that I've rarely had the opportunity to work with.  

Blog #8

As a CNF writer, I believe I struggle with repetition. I often find myself repeating the same ideas throughout all of my paper. Also, I believe that since it is nonfiction, I have a hard time opening up. I will explain something but will not go into the detail that the story needs because I am more of a closed off person. It is a struggle being a closed off person in CNF, because you need to open up about real life experiences, but I am working through it. I believe my strengths lay within my details. I am write good details and examples. I can describe moments exactly how they were. I also write about things that are relatable making my writing easier for others to read and enjoy since it is more laid back.

Rough Draft

This isn't my normal essay.. I tried something new and I don't quite know how I feel about it! :

Ahhh, “you time.”  Some dread it, others indulge in it. Some consider it confinement, others consider it a very pleasant solitude. I’m one to consider it the latter. There are just so many things you can do to fill up the (probably) limited time you have by your lonesome.

Pick up a book. Try to cook something. Nap! Watch the television shows/movies you want. Write in a diary. Take a bike ride or go for a walk! Clean. Draw. Listen to music!  Lay in bed all day and evaluate your life! The last sounds a bit treacherous though..

If you live with someone, it’s a time that it’s not expected of you to listen to stories or respond to questions.  Silence just fills the air. It’s a time that no matter what you say aloud or do, nobody will see you to potentially judge you.

Have you ever just sat on a cozy chair next to the window and stared out of it, pondering life? Then wind up getting into that really nice stare where your eyes begin to zoom out? Then somebody you’re with either calls you out on it as if you didn’t mean to stare off. Or they will just break your peaceful concentration on the nothingness outside by asking you a question or making a remark. Either way causing you to lose that peaceful concentration. Sometimes it’s just nice to have that “nothing stopping me” feel.

How about when you’re listening to music with headphones and your friend wants to keep talking to you? Then you have to either pause the music, mute it, or constantly take a headphone out. Sometimes it’s nice to just listen to songs straight through and allow your thoughts to trail off. Sometimes listening to the right songs will inspire you to get something done that you wouldn’t otherwise do if you had the distraction of a friend around.

It’s quite nice, if you ask me, to sit down with a warm blanket, tea and your favorite book. The joy of reading is putting and inventing yourself in another world. You forget your own surroundings and you feel like you’re in this alternate universe. Your mind becomes filled with scenes from the story. But it’s not quite the same when your best friend, significant other, or family member interrupts it with questions or favors: Can you read this text for me? What shirt looks better with these pants? Which filter should I use for this picture?

You become engrossed in the story, then you’re taken away from it. Then you’re back in temporarily, then back out. Kind of loses the excitement of reading when you’re in and out of the story.

My personal pet peeve is when you are attempting to nap. Your friends/family come and go, chatter grows amongst each other, make a sound with every object in the room, laugh. You fall in and out of sleep as the noise stops and then continues again.  Or you’re just completely resting with your eyes shut but unable to fall into the oblivion you were hoping for.

If you’re an artsy person and you’re trying to make some sort of drawing or painting, or whatever art may catch your attention at the time, it takes the sincerity out of it when your thoughts are interrupted. To draw is sometimes a very thought out thing, however other times it’s just a quick thing that spurted in your mind. When it’s a very thought out thing, people tend to need their space and quiet or particular music to be on. This hobby can be very difficult to pursue in if you’re not one to ever get the alone time needed for it.

You know when you’ve been waiting several weeks for your favorite show to start up again, then when it does, the people you live with or just choosing to watch it with talk through the whole thing? It’s honestly the worst. You want to hear every word out of your favorite actress’ mouth. You want to be taken out of your current world and into your favorite show with all the good drama and great looking actors. What good is doing so when when someone’s talking in the background, or talking to you when you’re trying to watch this show?

Essay #2

I wrote this last week and I thought it was great. Then I came back to it today and I thought it was horrible haha. This is what I have so far can't wait to hear feedback.

Monogamy. It’s what we’re supposed to do. Isn’t it? I mean as children we grow up playing “house”, with a mommy and a daddy, and we imagine that we're married. We go to our imaginary jobs, and we return to our loving families. We play these games as children because it’s pretty much all that we know. It’s instilled in our brains that this is what life is about, and this is what we are to look forward to when we become adults. We grow up imagining our dream wedding. We draw the wedding dress, the bouquet of flowers, and of course our best friend in her bridesmaids dress.

            I’m not sure that I ever thought there was an option where I did not have to get married, as I was growing up. I saw my parents, my aunts, uncles, and my grand parents, all married. Of course, there were the occasional references “ When you grow up and have a husband and family of your own...” What’s a little girl to think? Finding your soul mate, getting married, and having that one person that you will love and be with for the rest of your life, is what most of us long for. It’s actually the most important thing in our life. Its what most people see as an “I made it” moment. That moment when you say “I do”. It’s that moment, that’s supposed to make everything fall into place.  Wow. That seems like a lot of expectations to me.

            I cannot say that I do not believe in love, but I do believe that monogamy does not secure love. The idea is, that if you love somebody, romantically that is, and you believe they are your soulmate, you will marry them. Haven’t you heard “you say you love me but why haven’t you asked me to marry you”. It is what’s expected. It is how people relate being in love.  In my eyes, they are two different things.

            And whats the deal with soul mates? One person out there for you. Your missing puzzle peace. Someone your meant to be with for the rest of your life. Someone you will never grow apart from. Fairytale? I wouldn’t go as far as calling it a fairytail idea, because, well it is very much possible . It’s the idea that there is only one person out there for you, who is your soul mate and whom you are meant to be with forever, it’s that idea that gets me. I mean, how could someone be lead to believe that there are seven billion people on this earth but there is only one person they perfectly relate to, get along with, love, admire, cherish, etc. and are destined to be with for the rest of their life.

Ya know those relationships, where, you completely click with a person? Romantically or not. Most of the time, this person is a lot like you, or compliments you very well. Much of the time we find these characteristics in our best friend. However, who is to say that you cannot click the same way with someone across the world, who has characteristics which you admire in your best friend, except the difference is that you never met. This imaginary person across the world which I just made up, could also be your best friend. Same with a romance.

I have this idea that you decide who your soul mate is. You like someone. You don’t know why, there is just something about their ora that you admire. You like the way they walk, and the way they talk, and the way they laugh. And then you begin to truly know them. You like what they handle situations, and how they are patient with you, and how they make you feel happy and loved without trying. You spend everyday with them but its never a struggle to have a conversation. You’re in a tough situation and they are who you think about. And that’s when they become your soul mate. There are many people out there that hold all of these characteristics. There are people out there that can make you feel this exact way. The difference is that you already found yours. You already spent sleepless nights talking and pouring out your heart, you already feel their pain as if it were their own, you already know their biggest fears which you want to protect them from. It is after all of this that you have decided they are your soul mate and you are done searching. Maybe, if you had met that person out there which I mentioned earlier, you know, the one with the same characteristics, the one that I made up, and you took the time to know their fears, and pour your heart out, and feel their pain, then maybe that person could have turned out to be your soul mate. But not anymore. You have already decided who your soul mate is. You love that person, but you love them because of the person they are, and the relationship that you have built with them.

I remember two years ago, I had a conversation with my dad about how I wanted a sports car. I wanted that Infinity G37 and no one was going to change my mind. My dad didn’t want to buy me that car because it is a coupe, which makes it dangerous for the people in the backseat in case of a crash. It is also rear wheel drive, and horrible in bad weather conditions. I did not care because all that concerned me was how cool it looked. I got the car. Two years of maturity later, I am no longer concerned about how my car looks, but I am most definitely concerned about my safety. What does this tell me besides that I need to make better decisions? It tells me that people change and so do their values.

What I am looking for today may not be what I am looking for tomorrow. People grow and people change. They may grow apart or they may grow closer together. I do not know what direction my relationship will take, but there is one thing I am sure of. Monogamy will not determine whether I stay or fall out of love. It is the time and patience that you have with the other person that will keep your love strong. It is not the piece of paper which you sign that determines your love and it is not you mimicking the pastors words “Together till death do us apart” that keeps your soul mate today, your soul mate forever.

            

essay 2

Some people are lucky to live with the best parents in the world; I was lucky enough to live with the best grandmother in the world. Mom-mom was my right hand lady, we were always buddies; I was her babe. She moved in when I was in second grade and my home was not complete without her. She wore the typical grandma sweaters, with kittens and holiday themes and even in her 70’s, she still didn’t have her ears pierced. But I’ll be dammed if you ever saw her not wearing clip on earrings, and ill be damned if you ever heard her complain that they hurt.

            Mom-mom was a widow. My grandfather died before I was even born, and she moved in so we could all take care of each other. She watched us kids while my mom worked, and my mom cooked, cleaned, and did her laundry for her. It was a team effort. She always had her hair and make up done. Her hairdressers even came to the funeral, that’s how much time she spent at the beauty salon. She was sassy and loved her Dr. Phil. God, it amazes me how much I miss her.

            When I was younger, she would come tuck me in and sit on the end of my bed. She would sit for a while, watch some TV with me and sometimes it would bother me so much because I couldn’t move my legs around to get comfortable. I also knew that she made sure I would go to sleep and not read or watch more TV. As much as it bothered my 11-year-old self, I’d do anything to have her sit on the end of my bed one more time.

This is all I have so far! Hope you like it.  

This is only a paragraph for my second essay and its on me of course.

Who am I to you? Who do I seem to myself? What do others perceive of me? What do I give off? The biggest question in this essay is how I look in another person's eyes. To my mother I can seem like this perfect princess, to my friends I can be this loud, annoying, outspoken person, and to my boyfriend I can be this reserved, shy, affectionate person. We change how we are in many ways with different people. Not that its being phoney or fake but in reality your professor is not going to act in class how she would act at the bar with her childhood friends. So then I ask who am I? Am I the girl who is everything described above all together or am I someone totally different in my mind than I come off to be? This paper will be full of unanswered yet somewhat justified questions about myself.

Essay 2 Rough Draft for Workshop

SkyWaltz’s heart pounded in her chest like a pair of Yagudo beastman drums.  (And so did mine as I shifted my weight in the desk chair.)  She had trained for this moment for weeks (a couple evenings at the keyboard).  She had researched strategies and consulted fellow adventurers (through online forums and an in-game chat system that showed up in shades of purple).  Well-fed with potatoes and crab meat (which boosted her health and defense points), she approached the vortex that would send her to battle with the stony god-beast (Titan Prime, level 25, six levels above SkyWaltz).  Faced with the possibility of her imminent death (and a loss of hard-earned experience points), SkyWaltz reflected on her life. 

Since she had left her hometown of Windurst, SkyWaltz’s home had been a single, unfurnished room in Bastok’s residential district (I always thought the decorating feature was a waste of time and in-game currency).  That suited her just fine because the people who had made her house a home were not there beside her (my mother had passed away from colon cancer two years earlier, in the summer of eighth grade).  But Vana’diel’s brave adventurers were defined by their ability to leave everything from their old lives behind.  Their calling was to explore the wilds; they had no need for nostalgia or grief. 

Because her home was so sparse, however, sometimes SkyWaltz would spend all night in the seaside town of Selbina watching the ships come to harbor (after my dad had gone to bed the computer was all mine).  There, she would eat a dinner of fish drenched in sweet butter (frozen Lean Cuisine meals because neither my dad nor I could cook) and drown out her worries with the sound of local folk melodies (the background noise of Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim on the TV).  Sometimes friends would join her (my e-friends and I discussed the deepest things late at night, things I’d never tell my real-life friends at high school).

The only friend at SkyWaltz’s side right now was the benevolent vulpine avatar, Carbuncle, who had first taught her the ways of the Summoner.  The ruby on Carbuncle’s forehead reflected the anxiety of SkyWaltz’s face, the sweat dampening her dark-blue hair.  It was time to face the Titan of Earth, time for the young Taru-Taru to claim dominance over the ethereal giant that shook mountains with its fists.  (“Dad!  Can you get the phone?  I’m in the middle of something!”)  One leap into the void and the fight had begun…

*****

A lot of my family still likes to castigate me for the years I spent addicted to a massively-multiplayer online role-playing game called “Final Fantasy XI Online.”  They say I missed out on so much because I would rush home to play on the computer instead of going out.  I had no life because I was living vicariously through a computer-generated creature with blue hair, a dog-like nose, and pointed ears.  They don’t realize how much that silly game meant to me; they don’t realize that SkyWaltz may very well have saved my life.  Yes, escapism isn’t the healthiest answer to grief, and I know I missed out on things, but none of my relatives was a thirteen-year-old girl without a mother at the time in her life when female guidance matters most.  I turned to a virtual world where I could gain in order to help me cope with the fact that this world was so full of loss.  Who knows what I would have done without such a resource? 

Call it denial, or shock, or an anomaly of bereavement, but I cried more when, after four years of adventuring, my dad finally forced me to delete SkyWaltz than I had at my mother’s funeral.  

Blog 7

I think my next essay will be about alone time. I'm not entirely what category of CNF that falls under, but I think it's something I could really expand on. When youre with your friends and family, there's always something to do or talk about for the most part so you don't get entirely too much time to yourself. You tend to even lose the desire to have any alone time. However when you're alone, putting technology aside, it really gives you time to reflect about yourself and life. You can get a lot done that you wouldn't otherwise do if people were around. So despite how much I love being around family and friends, I do think it's really important to allow yourself some time by yourself. I've already come up with a page even though it's structured a little differently then most papers so it came out a little easily to a page. Hopefully I can continue without getting repetitive and boring.