For blog number two I think I would write another personal essay. I think my focus would be on me and "who I think I am" I will be in the center of this essay. I was very intrigued by the paper with all the ideas for stories that professor introduced us too. I think writing about myself would be great not because I don't care about others but I want people to understand me so that I can be understood from the eyes of others. I believe who I am in public, private, and in my mind are all three different people. Not that I have a multiple personality disorder but because I believe what I give off to people is not always who I am or who I am trying to portray inside my mind. I love personal essays it gives me a chance to speak through my writings that I will probably never express by voice.

Blog #7

For my second essay, I will probably do another personal essay. I want to focus it around an incident in my past that I would want to relive and do differently. When I read this topic idea, I immediately thought of my grandmother. If I could change things that I did before she passed away I would. I feel like this would be one of my longer essays. To sit down and write about a moment you would want to change in your past is overwhelming, but I feel that I could compose a great piece because I know what I would want to focus on. I feel that this also stuck out to me because when I think about changing something, I always think about my last months with her. Hopefully, I can compose my thoughts, emotions, and ideas into a piece that answers the topic statement, giving me a strong and longer personal essay.

Blog 6

I really enjoyed the writing workshop! I felt very comfortable sharing my writing. Everyone was very supportive and encouraging. I got great feed back on my paper. At first I was very confused if my essay made sense or if it flowed becasue I had so much going on in the paper. By the end of the workshop I was not confused anymore, everyone was able to give me a postive comment and also something I can improve on. My classmates told me my essay made sense and it was good so far but that i should break everything down a bit more and I should give more detail about each expereince I was talking about in the essay. We also agreed that if we had any questions or needed more peer reviewing we could email our essays to eachother and give eachother some feed back. Over all it was time very well spent, I thought it was very productive and helpful.

Blog #6

I really enjoyed the workshop; I received great feedback and ideas on how to improve my paper. The feedback I received was positive and the advice I was given will definitely improve my essay. The group consensus determined that I needed to tie the ideas in my final paragraph into the beginning parts so that the story made better sense. Dr. Inskeep also provided me with good feedback, catching cliche phrases and helping me tell my story in different points of view and person so the affect of the moment I am describing is more effective. I will definitely be using al the comments everyone provided me and improving my paper. For my feedback that provided to my fellow classmates, I think helping them separate ideas and helping the structure flow better was the most useful feedback I provided. Also, helping them find better endings to wrap up there story was also another critique that I suggested.

Blog 6

Workshopping was overall a good experience.  We were able to discuss each group member's draft and share opinions and suggestions.  The feedback from my group that I found most useful involved the beginning and end of my draft.  My group felt that my opening sentence, also its own paragraph, served as a very effective hook.  They pointed out to me, however, that my ending lacked the same "oomph."  They suggested closing with another powerful sentence similar to the opening.  I found this suggestion very useful and I have been trying to think of the proper sentence to serve this purpose.  As far as the feedback I offered, it is more difficult to judge what might have been the "best."  One suggestion that I offered to Chrissy seemed to have been well-received.  I suggested mentioning or alluding to the "home" theme that concluded her essay at another point closer to the beginning.  She and I discussed this, and she seemed to believe it was a good idea too.  I have a lot of work to do overhauling my draft based on comments from the professor and my group, but I am very grateful for the opportunity to have received feedback.  It's very valuable and interesting to see how other people react to something I have written.

Blog 6

I really appreciated the working in groups. I'm personally not very good at dissecting papers and finding things to improve within them. However, watching my group give each other feedback and myself helping as much as I could, I saw ways that even really good writers have room for improving.
For my paper, I was fortunate to receive mostly good feedback with the occasional comment that I could use a tad more imagery, which I figured. The good feedback worked constructively as well though. My group all agreed that my paper was very inspiring and drew them in which I was very happy to hear. That encouraged me to continue with the style I was going with which I was a little doubtful with prior to this.

blog #6 workshopping

Working in groups definitely helped in giving me some ideas towards my essay. One great comment I got was to use what I see and turn it into a memory so that it flows and transitions better. For example if I see a cloud that looks like a book I can then go ahead and talk about all the homework I'm stressing about. Another great comment I received was to keep the facts about Overpeck park. I had mixed feelings about keeping the facts in the essay because I though it did not flow. My group said that it was interesting to see how Overpeck park made me feel first then get an actual idea of what it looks like and its location. I also got to read my groups essays and provide some feedback on that. I thought that the beginning of Katherine's essay was very effective in keeping the reader engaged and wanting to read more. I also thought that Taylor's way of splitting up the four types of love and then using the name of each one as the "character's" name was very clever. Seeing the way that everyones writing was different also made me comfortable in my own writing because there is no "correct way" to do the assignment. I kept wondering if I was writing the correct way but seeing that everyone had a different style made me more confident in my own writing. I had an overall good experience workshopping.